Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
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im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
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I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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