that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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