Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
