im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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