That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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