New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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