so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
You may now shotgun with the bride
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
