Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
