Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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