I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize