Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
