she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
