He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
