he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
