I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
