Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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