Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
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its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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