I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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