i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
When are your genitals available?
The Olympian is in my bed
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
