just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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