Someone shit on the floor
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
