dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
