Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I cut my penus on the lid.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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