my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize