I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize