it was like his penis was on wheels.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
there is puke in my bra ... again
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