it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
