My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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