so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
