Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize