That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
