Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
