no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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