don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.