I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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