Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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