Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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