i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize