we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
