Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I have fence marks all over my body
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
