just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
