just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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