I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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