Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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