oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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