She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
