the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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