in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
