you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
