When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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