Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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