He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
