wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
