bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
