We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
