So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
