I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
two words...techno handjob
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize