wake up i wanna do it froggy style
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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