Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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