Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
