i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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