I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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