he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
